Email this article to a friend

The ITT List

Wednesday, May 17, 2006, 7:17 am

So, I Was Casually Perusing The News This Morning, And…

By Brian Zick
Greg Krikorian and Christine Hanley for the LA Times report, "Producer Faces 10 Years in TV Scam."

And so I see this headline, and I figure, well, gee, lookie here, some knucklehead saw Mel Brooks' "The Producers" and got the idea to bilk a buncha fools who get their daily news from the supermarket tabloids.

Paragraph 1:
A Hollywood producer pleaded guilty today to conspiracy to commit mail fraud and income tax evasion in connection with a bogus television production about the U.S. Department of Homeland Security that he used to swindle millions of dollars from dozens of investors.

Hot damn, I say to myself, the guy knows a lame movie idea when he sees one. But the suckers ain't reading the Weekly World News, they must be watching FOX news.

Paragraph 3:
The plea, which came before a federal judge in Los Angeles, also requires Medawar to cooperate with the U.S. attorney's office, FBI and IRS in any ongoing investigation.

Hello. Why, now , what the hell could this mean? What could possibly be of interest to the feds in this schmuck-o-thon?

Paragraph 6:
Medawar not only defrauded investors but won over some of the state's most prominent Republicans with his pitch about a television series based on the Homeland Security Department. The politicians included Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Huntington Beach), who used his influence to open doors in Washington, D.C. It was later learned that Medawar had paid the congressman $23,000 for an option on a 30-year-old screenplay. The $23,000 came from proceeds of the swindle, authorities said.

Holy freakin' moly!! Where the hell did this come from? I mean, are Greg and Christine playin' "Hide The Salami" here, or what?

Paragraph 7:
Rohrabacher has maintained that he thought the show would bring positive attention to the Department of Homeland Security. He has denied that Medawar gained special access by purchasing his script or by contributing to his political campaign.

Well, I know I don't smell anything remotely fishy. Nothing at all. I mean, anybody could sell a 30-year-old screenplay for $23,000, and then just naturally treat the buyer as if he were just another average citizen on the street, right? And after all, this little bit-o-insight came totally buried all the way down here in f****** paragraphs 6 and 7!! Why should I think there could be anything whatsoever of possible news value stuffed in a duffel bag and tossed into the deep hole all the way down here?

Paragraph 9:
His film crew shot action scenes at the Orange County sheriff's headquarters building and high-security operations center. His political contributions won him entry into invitation-only GOP events, allowing him to mingle with the kind of power brokers who make a difference in politics and in Hollywood. He also had his picture taken with the president.

Oh, well, it must've been all those other "state's most prominent Republicans" who allowed the guy "to mingle with the kind of power brokers who make a difference in politics and in Hollywood." Couldn't be our surfer boy Dana. After he unloaded his 30-year-old screenplay for $23,000. See, he denied that the guy "gained special access." And I mean, golly whiz, just what possibly could the item in paragraph 3 have anything maybe kinda sorta at all whatsoever to do with the wacky business in paragraphs 6 and 7? And jeeze, the headline for the piece would surely indicate one of the most important aspects of the story anyway, now, wouldn't you think? Wouldn't it? Wouldn't it?
View Comments