I guess all the hallucinations that accompany harder amphetamines were starting to mess with army heads too much. Fortunately, the Army has just approved “Stay Alert” caffeine gum as a way of battling fatigue.

Each piece of Stay Alert chewing gum contains 100 mg of caffeine--the amount in a six-ounce cup of coffee--but Stay Alert hits the system five times faster than drinking or taking a pill.

Might they approve that for journalists as well? I'll be first in line. I definitely need it to keep up with all these exciting developments.