Truck You  8.8

  It's best to get these things in writing. Two Ohio residents are currently fighting in court over an alleged truck-for-sex deal that went bad. Come again? As the Akron Beacon Journal reports, Barberton, Ohio resident Rick Remmy apparently offered to sell his ride for $300 in cash and $400 in sexual favors to one Karen Kershaw of Akron. According to court documents filed by Kershaw (available online at www.thesmokinggun.com), she agreed to the cash payment but not the sex, thinking that Remmy wasn't "serious about that part of said offer." In any case, she never came up with the agreed-upon amount of cash - or all those sexual favors - and he never handed over the truck.

  So now the case has come to small claims court, and the details are even stranger. Though the crudely scrawled "contract" filed with the courts is unclear on just how much each act of sex is worth, it suggests that Remmy was willing to value oral sex at roughly $40 to $50 a pop and "good fucks" at anywhere from $50 to $66.67 apiece.

  Though Kershaw says she never agreed to this unique installment plan, and found it deeply offensive, another dodgy document filed in court (a few barely readable scrawls scratched onto an envelope) suggests that she'd actually made several, uh, payments in this manner. The complaint Kershaw filed with the court acknowledges only that she "touch[ed]" Remmy on two occasions, and then only after "said Defendant did harangue and berate Plaintiff" until she reluctantly went along with his wishes.

  Kershaw, embarrassed by the whole thing, only wants her money back. And, as far as we can make it out, she won't accept it in the form of sexual favors.

Work for Love  5.9

   Speaking of sex for pay: In a unique twist on long-standing traditions of employer stinginess, one German firm in the online sex business recently claimed that it shouldn't have to pay social security for its workers - because their jobs, which involved chatting for pay with lusty customers, were immoral (albeit perfectly legal). Luckily, Reuters reports, the German courts didn't buy this argument, and the unnamed firm now must pay roughly half a million dollars worth of contributions for its staff.