That's Entertainment 9.3
In what is possibly the most metaphorically suggestive case in
the history of jurisprudence, two California teens are suing MTV
for showering them with crap. According to Reuters, the pair ran
afoul of the network's extreme entertainment sensibility during
a pilot taping last January of a variety show called "Dude, This
Monique Garcia and Kelli Sloat, two 13-year-old middle school students
from the town of Big Bear, were apparently enjoying the program
when production staffers invited them and four friends to the stage.
The girls watched unwittingly as the camera crew covered its equipment
with plastic, in preparation for the edgy jape that followed.
"All of a sudden I was smelling something disgusting and I started
to gag," Garcia explained at a press conference. "I looked around
at my friends. They were covered in something. As I looked down
at myself I realized that I was, too." The "something" in question
had issued, geyser-like, from the posterior regions of two performers
identified only as the "Shower Rangers."
"This was a terrible incident," admitted Brian Graden, president
of programming at MTV. "It was unintended and we regret that it
happened." Just what was intended is unclear, but MTV graciously
has promised never to air the footage.
The Flesh Trade 9.7
Police in the former Soviet republic of Moldova have arrested
two women for selling
human flesh. According to a report in the Independent, the
women were caught selling the meat outside a butcher shop in the capital
city of Chisinau. They told police they had taken it from a state
In related news, police in Tanzania claim they have arrested members
of a gang they say is murdering children and adults, uh, for their
pelts. In the past couple years, the BBC reports, police in the
southern region of Mbeya have been on alert for the perpetrators
of a bizarre spate of murders in which the entire skin of the victims
was "expertly removed." According to the regional police commissioner,
the skins were taken for purposes of witchcraft and probably exported
for sale abroad, where a pelt could fetch as much as $50,000, depending
on the age of the victim.
Meanwhile, the creators of a German art exhibition featuring human
corpses are taking their show on the road. Professor Gčnther von
Hagens, an anatomist, replaces the fluids of the departed with silicone,
epoxy or polyester polymers. According to Ananova.com, he is currently
negotiating to bring the exhibition--which features a pregnant woman
with a slashed abdomen revealing a fetus--to Britain this spring.