Just Add Water

Joel Bleifuss November 5, 2003

Five West Texas men on probation have been caught using the Whizzinator in attempt to avoid drug testing (http://www.whizzinator.com). Selling at $150 each and coming in five different flesh tones, the Whizzinator is a prosthetic penis attached to a jock-strap like device that contains dehydrated, drug-free urine in the pouch. Just add water and squeeze … and hope your probation officer isn’t as savvy a sleuth as Lubbock County’s Tom Madigan. “A body part when it’s up against a plastic cup isn’t going to go ‘clink,’ ” he said.

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Joel Bleifuss, a former director of the Peace Studies Program at the University of Missouri-Columbia, is the editor & publisher of In These Times, where he has worked since October 1986.