An advertisement on the back cover of the November 4 Weekly Standard invites well-heeled lovers of liberty to “relive [an] exciting chapter in American history” on the “Freedom Cruise” to the Caribbean island of Grenada. It goes on to mention that former international man of mystery Oliver North, ex-Attorney General Ed Meese and NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre will be aboard to celebrate the 20th anniversary of our nation’s stunning victory over the formidable Grenadan left. The 1983 invasion dealt a blow to Red overlordship in the region and guaranteed subpar medical students access to an expensive offshore education.

Police in southwest France have discovered more than 100 garden gnomes believed to have been kidnapped. Agence France-Presse reports that a mushroom hunter stumbled upon a gathering of the gnomes in the middle of a pine forest south of Bordeaux. “It was very nice to look at,” the local police chief said of the circular arrangement of the gnomes. “Very tastefully done.”

Police are trying to identify the owners of the gnomes. So far there are no suspects, but an organization known as the Gnome Liberation Front has declared a terror campaign against “oppressors and enslavers” of the tiny clay creatures.

You’ll know you’re in trouble when you find something in your in box from udaysaddamhussein @yahoo.com or babil@uruklink.net—the e-mail addresses of a certain Middle Eastern strongman’s charming spawn. According to Wired magazine, Uday, son of Saddam, used the latter address to e-mail this bouquet to a British journalist: “We have been able to allocate your current residency. … Our brave (young) agents are able to stop people like you in the time and the place that we will determine.”

Some observers argue that Yahoo! should not supply a free e-mail account to a person whom the U.S. State Department accuses of murder, torture, rape and smuggling. “It is against U.S. law to provide services to residents of Iraq, even if it is a free account,” said a spokesman for the U.S. Treasury Department. “The provider should cut off the account.”

Another school of thought argues, why cut it when you can snoop? As it turns out, both Uday and his dad had easily crackable passwords on their free accounts. Still, the only intelligence agents have been able to glean from Uday’s in box is that he could add inches to his penis by taking a miraculous new pill.