Political Correctness vs Correct Politicalness

Brian Zick

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Once upon a time there is "Political Correctness." Which is, quite understandably, thoroughly disparaged for its being so appallingly incorrect. Which means, of course, that to be truly correct politically, one has need to be politically incorrect. Which, obviously, is not to be mistaken with being incorrect politically. Because that is not at all the same as political incorrectness. Indeed, a display of "political correctness" is generally the surest means by which a judgment of being incorrect politically is ascertained, whereas demonstrations of political incorrectness invariably prove one's correctness politically. As any fool can surely see, only those who are politically incorrect can be correct politically. And those who are politically correct cannot.Simply put, being correct politically means proudly and strictly adhering to a rigid correct politicalness. Which, indubitably and of course, is at absolute odds with the despised and ridiculed incorrect politicalness of political correctness.And while political correctness is always, by definition, a self-evidently loathsome thing, there are, as it happens, an abundance of stouthearted resolute Great American correct politicalnesses, displayed vigorously by citizens with considerable pride. And these true correctly political Americans are on the front lines in the heroic combat against the demon evils of political correctness.There is Correct Religious Politicalness ("God Says I'm Better Than You"). There is Correct Family Values Politicalness ("Bill Bennett Says He's Better Than You"). There is Correct Heterosexual Politicalness (Correct Fag Bashing Incorrectness). Which is related to, but not the same as, Correct Military Intercourse Politicalness (Don't Ask/Don't Tell). There is Correct Anti-Sex Education Politicalness (Just Say "No"). And Correct Derogation of Abortion Politicalness (the Correct "Pro-Life" Willingness to Let Women Die). There is Correct Anti-Marijuana Politicalness (the Correct "Drug War" Crusade). There is Correctly Incorrect Antipathy Towards Affirmative Action Politicalness (the Correct White Supremacist Hostility towards "Racial Discrimination"). There are Correctly Incorrect Community Standards (Correctly Banal Inoffensiveness). In relation to which there is Correct Artistic Politicalness (Correctly Blaming of Art for the Filth a Critic Sees in Rorschach Ink Blots). There are Correctly Incorrect Entertainment Standards in general (A Correct Lowest Common Denominator Fatuity). And Correct Television Programming Politicalness in particular (Correct Parental Abdication of Individual Responsibility for Children's Viewing Choices). And there is Correct Anti-Immigrant Xenophobia Politicalness (which in the time of Manzanar was thought of as a Correct "Yellow Peril" Warning). And there is Correct Patriotic Politicalness (Correctly Incorrect Wrapping Oneself with the Flag). Which is very much related to Correct American Flag Politicalness (Correct Red White and Blue Brownshirtness).And, similarly related, of course, there is Correct National Anthem Politicalness. Which has a rich history of being offended. By Jimi Hendrix. By Jose Feliciano. By Marvin Gaye. By Roseanne Barr. By Igor Stravinsky.Amazingly enough, though, some people remain confused by the clear differences which exist between political correctness and correct politicalness. To aide those who still haven't got it figured out, a helpful referral may be made to the convenient learning guide provided by the controversial Spanish language version of the Star Spangled Banner. This version of the anthem is obviously a blatant display of rancid political correctness, and so, as such, it is plainly quite incorrect politically. When it was first introduced, without controversy in 1919, printed by the U.S. Bureau of Education, it was, clearly and in the alternative, a most proper and correctly political celebration of new immigrants.See the difference? Of course you do!A superb reference for simpletons, in how to distinguish this profound difference, is the exemplar of George Bush - who is, unfailingly, always correct politically (and never incorrectly political). Bush recently said he believes that people should ".. sing the anthem in English." This display of Correct National Anthem Politicalness, quite obviously, is correct politically. (Not politically correct.) Which is precisely in keeping with President Bush's correctly political 2001 inaugural ceremony, during which a not politically correct rendition of the national anthem was sung in Spanish by Jon Secada. Author Kevin Phillips, in his new book American Dynasty, also provides another sample of Bush's correct anthem politicalness. Phillips wrote that "When visiting cities like Chicago, Milwaukee or Philadelphia, in pivotal states, he [Bush] would drop in at Hispanic festivals and parties, sometimes joining in singing "The Star-Spangled Banner" in Spanish, sometimes partying with a "Viva Bush" mariachi band flown in from Texas."The difference between political correctness and correct politicalness should be more than perfectly clear now, even to those possessed of the dimmest intellect.Political correctness = incorrect. Correct Politicalness = correct. Political Incorrectness = correct. Incorrectness politically = incorrect.Test yourself: Incorrect Politicalness: correct or incorrect? Politicalness Incorrectly: correct or incorrect? Correct Incorrectness: correct or incorrect? Incorrect correctness: correct or incorrect?

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