Welcome to Christwire.org, Where Liberals Are Ruining the World

Sara Peck

By Sara PeckJust when you thought Fox’s “fair and balanced” shtick or The Onion was the most outrageous way to amuse yourself at work, a supposedly Christian website gives them a run for their funny. Christwire.org, a creation of self-proclaimed “youth pastor” Jack Gould aimed to “combat the evil liberals of this world and once again ensure that a bit of freedom and righteousness once again,” is hilarious—but hard to classify.With headlines like “How to spot a masturbator,” it’s hard to tell, like Fox News, if the whole thing is satire or not. Are youth pastors even allowed to write “masturbator,” even in the name of spreading abstinence and Christly love? The headlines look like they were fished out of Stephen Colbert’s trash bin (“Insane Clown Posse Makes Black Rappers Look Like Shirley Temple” ), but the body of the articles juxtapose pedantic, dogmatic language with statements like “I wish Bill O’Reilly would have punched the violent j clown in the face!” Some semi-serious posts like “Sarah Palin—This is a Christian nation” make it plausible, but who ever heard of vajazzling, or even more ridiculously, that college-aged males need to be tricked into casual sex?Terrifying evidence of how nuts right-wing America is, or hilarious addition to daily website trolling? You decide.Here are some of my favorites:—Vajazzling, the newest threat to your college son —Proof blacks are possessed by satan and are a violent species —Sixth Grade Child Uses Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber Techniques to Remove Panties from School Girl Children

Sara Peck, a spring 2010 In These Times editorial intern, is a Northwestern University student studying journalism and political science.
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